Elon Musk’s Department of Government Efficiency (DOGE) has been on a warpath against government corruption, and their latest findings are downright insane. Turns out, the Small Business Administration (SBA) handed out hundreds of millions in loans to people who are either too young to run a lemonade stand or old enough to have fought in the Civil War.
According to DOGE, nearly $312 million in pandemic-era small business loans went to borrowers under the age of 11. Yes, actual children were listed as business owners and received federal funding. Meanwhile, another $333 million went to individuals over 115 years old, which is fascinating considering the oldest recorded person alive today is 117. Unless there was a secret wave of centenarian entrepreneurs launching startups in their twilight years, we’re looking at some of the most blatant fraud imaginable.
DOGE announced these jaw-dropping findings on X, and the details are as absurd as they sound. Apparently, 5,593 loans were issued to minors, all using Social Security numbers that didn’t match the names on file. In other words, someone was playing fast and loose with taxpayer money while the federal government, under its usual “expert” leadership, looked the other way.
In 2020-2021, SBA granted 5,593 loans for $312M to borrowers whose only listed owner was 11 years old or younger at the time of the loan. While it is possible to have business arrangements where this is legal, that is highly unlikely for these 5,593 loans, as they all also used… https://t.co/PHCd4l7qFs
— Department of Government Efficiency (@DOGE) March 9, 2025
But let’s not pretend this is shocking. The relief programs during the pandemic were a goldmine for fraudsters, thanks to the sheer incompetence of the bureaucrats in charge. While actual small businesses were being crushed under government lockdowns, criminals were cashing in on relief funds with phony applications, stolen identities, and, apparently, imaginary businesses run by toddlers.
Now, DOGE and the SBA claim they’re “working together” to get to the bottom of this mess. But here’s the real question: who authorized these loans in the first place? Where was the oversight? And most importantly, will anyone be held accountable? Because let’s be real—if you or I tried to scam the government out of a few hundred bucks, we’d have the FBI kicking down our doors in a heartbeat. But when it’s hundreds of millions of taxpayer dollars being funneled into outright fraud, the government response is always a shrug and a “whoops.”
Elon Musk’s agency is proving what many of us already suspected—government waste and fraud are out of control, and the bureaucrats in charge either don’t care or are actively complicit. The American people deserve answers, and there needs to be consequences.
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